Posted by
Sgt Relic on Monday, March 22, 2010 6:32:34 AM
United States of America Dead at 233
Washington, DC – March 21st 2010
The United States of America, known to its friends simply as “The Republic”, passed away today after a long wasting illness.
The Republic was born July the 4th 1776 at Philadelphia, Pa. amid trouble and turmoil. According to some who were present, the delivery took nearly 7 years and many thought there was little chance that it would live to mature. Despite the difficulties, the Republic not only survived but thrived to become the biggest kid on the block.
Its successes resulted in the accumulation of a vast fortune that was shared by its extended family for generations. Its life became a beacon to all, attracting others who shared its love of freedom and liberty.
In the last century of its life it contracted a “progressive” wasting illness. It fought a long and courageous battle but ultimately it succumbed to the ravages of this terrible and debilitating disease that now threatens to consume the entire world.
Many thought that Obamacare might be the answer to this malady but it is thought that it actually sped its demise.
The Republic was predeceased by its mate of some 200 years, the Constitution. The couple had no children.
No funeral services are planned. The family asks that in lieu of flowers donations be made to the agency of your choice toward finding a cure for “progressivism”.