Posted by
Sgt Relic on Tuesday, October 20, 2009 7:17:42 PM
Are you feeling low because you lost your job? Can’t make that mortgage payment AND buy food? Did your 401k evaporate like a puff of smoke? Is the only thing holding you back from starting up the lawnmower, lying down, and ending it all is the fact that you can’t afford the gas? Is that what’s troubling you, Bunkie?
WELL THEN BUNKIE, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND MARCH STRAIGHT TO YOUR TV SET WHERE THE ANSWER IS WAITING!
Now, thanks to the massive cooperation of the good folks at EIF and network television, together with a veritable galaxy of Hollyweird stars; you’ll be able to get through these tough times by tuning in to the all new Obama Channels!
Our maximum leader, who is very smart, and a keen student of history, is well aware of how during the Great Depression the spirits of the down trodden masses were uplifted by the sight of their betters leading a lavish lifestyle, feasting in expensive eateries, traveling all over the world to exotic hot spots, and blowing more on dinner and a show than you made in the first 20 years of your work life.
Now through the miracle of advanced communications you’ll be part of the in crowd!
• Be witness to the regular Wednesday night cocktail party at the White House! You’ll almost be able to smell the Wagyu beef and arugula!
• Be dazzled by the fabulous themed music presentations happening weekly and performed by those top acts you can no longer afford to see.
• Go on board Air Force One for the latest apology tour and follow Michelle on one of her exciting shopping excursions.
But wait, there’s more!
During the breaks you’ll be joined by such noted intellectuals as Ashton Kutcher and Dhimmi Moore, who with other Hollywood heavyweights, have pledged to be servants to Barack Obama, peace be unto him.
They will be telling you about how you can get involved by volunteering, not for some worthless children’s hospital or disaster relief agency, or even any of the those other fraternal, religious, community, or cultural groups you’ve been supporting all these years; but about how you can work for the government! And, you know the best part? No Pay!!!
Well, you don’t have a job anymore anyway, so you should have plenty of time to work for the government for nothing, after all, you’ve been doing it for six months every year as it is!