Posted by
Sgt Relic on Sunday, November 02, 2008 10:42:48 AM
Washington (11-1-2008) – The Obama Transition Team announced today that plans were going forward for the “surrender” of power scheduled for January 20th 2009. John Podesta, a former Clinton Chief of Staff, was originally thought to be the likely pick to head up the team but in a last minute move by the Obama campaign, Martin Sheen, who played the President in the popular series “West Wing” was tapped because of his “familiarity” with the White House set.
Due to recent remarks by “all but” Vice President Elect Joe Biden, the Obama campaign announced that former VP Al Gore would closeout for Mr. Obama in Florida leaving Mr. Biden free for other duties. Rumor has it that he is tasked with rounding up the W’s removed from the White House keyboards prior to the Bush Regime takeover.
The team has stated that “all but” President Elect Obama has some very ambitious plans for “change” in Washington and the team is working around the clock in an effort to complete the preliminary work on what is described as a “massive” change which could require as much as 8-10 years or more to complete.
Although it is still in the rumor stage, it has been heard around town that the host of MTV’s popular show “P*mp My Ride”, Xzibit, will be tapped for Secretary of Transportation and has been tasked with “p*mping” the Presidential ride. A spokesman for Xzibit said that plans were to keep it “real” but to add a “tight fi” and to give it a “Shaw” system. There have been initial problems with the hydraulics that have yet to be worked out. When asked to comment, the spokesman said, “Yo, you try to bounce this armor plated b*tch, ya’ feel me?” The concept car has already been produced and appears below:
Meanwhile, likely Secretary of the Interior, Antoin “Tony” Rezko, a prominent Chicago real estate developer, who has been of assistance to the “almost” President Elect on previous development projects announced plans to “spruce up” Washington in ways that will better reflect the “soon to be” President Elect’s dedication to diversity and multi-culturalism. Seen below are “just some of the projects” being proposed by his team, which has hired the Saudi BinLaden Group to consultant on the renovations.
Above is an artist’s concept of the new Camp Farrakan complex. The new structure will replace the more distant Camp David at the Potomac River site currently occupied by the Iwo Jima Monument and an old cemetery. Just visible on the opposite bank of the river is the proposed "Former Administration Retirement and Detention Facility" that will be part of a larger rehabilitation program as yet to be formulated.
Proposed Secretary of the new Department of Internal Security, William “The Meteorologist” Ayers has moved rapidly to recruit and train the first “elite” divisions, of this, the latest of Americas fighting forces. Many will recall that in July the “presumptive” President Obama called for a Civilian National Security Force saying that the United States military was not up to the task of fighting both our foreign foes and the American public. The first of these forces has already been formed using “extra” campaign cash acquired from foreign sources such as the Red Chinese Army, and at no cost to the taxpayer.
Below is shown the 1st Division CNSF, also dubbed the “Death to Whitey” Division, as they demonstrate their security technique in an undisclosed city. A spokesman for Mr. Ayers said on condition of anonymity, “We picked this tactic up from the Chicago pigs in ’68, let’s see how the neocons like it, can ya’ dig it?”
In other news, former President Bill Clinton, the first black president, has been working behind the scenes with the team and it is thought that he may be slotted as Attorney General in an Obama Cabinet. When a team member was asked if Mr. Clinton’s disbarment by the Supreme Court might be an impediment to the performance of his duties, he responded, “We’re looking at it. The Solicitor General does all the pleadings these days so it really comes down to what exactly is meant by ‘is' disbarred.”
A member close to the former “Philanderer in Chief” revealed that his nomination is considered a slam-dunk in some circles. According to his story, “Bubba was fooling around with the Constitution and folded it into a really big paper airplane. When he looked at it closely, it revealed a completely new meaning when read in that configuration. The word ‘abortion’ was right there for everyone to see! It was amazing!” Other configurations are being tried including folding it into a kite, known to be a favorite of the Founding Father Benjamin Franklin, which completely eliminates the 2nd Amendment when viewed horizontally. It is thought that this clearly gives him an inside track for the position at Justice, or as it will be known in January, the Department of Fairness.
Today Mr. Obama announced that he actually has plans to change the whole world but no details of what those changes might involve have been put forward. This reporter will examine more information concerning possible nominees and new departments as they come to light. Look for my new book, “Going Red”, coming soon to an approved book re-distributor near you. It will make a great gift for the approaching non-specific holiday season.