Posted by
Sgt Relic on Tuesday, October 07, 2008 1:00:00 PM
While I am still too angry to take on the subject of bailouts right at the moment, several comments on the previous post led me to an examination of some of the News and Political speak currently in vogue. Who could forget “gravitas”, especially since Rush Limbaugh put it through his sound bite montage, endlessly? There are many fine examples of this annoying trend.
ScarletPimernel started things off with his wife’s pet peeve, “negative growth”, and added in his own right: "Before they became "investments", taxes were "contributions" under the Great Billy Jeff.” [Note: Ronaldus Magnus, led the way, giving us “revenue enhancement”] BrianR, responding to Scarlet, took a military tack with “retrograde advance”, meaning Retreat.
This exchange reminded me of a recent article from the Scottish Rite Journal titled “THE JARGON GENERATOR” which I have shamelessly “borrowed” and reproduced below. [I hope they don’t kick me out. HaHaHa!] So, for the edification and amusement of the readers, here is some fun with jargoning.
[From the Scottish Rite Journal]
THE JARGON GENERATOR
Ever wonder how bureaucrats, educators and others come up with the terminology they unload on an unsuspecting public?
The fellow who put it together is a Sweetwater Union High School Districts Administrator from Sweetwater, Texas who for obvious reasons shall remain anonymous.
His creation consists of three columns of nine words each. The first two columns consist of multi-syllabic adjectives, and the third contains ambiguous nouns that defy strict definition.
| 1. integrated |
1. management |
1. outputs |
| 2. total |
2. organizational |
2. flexibility |
| 3. systematized |
3. monitored |
3. analysis |
| 4. parallel |
4. reciprocal |
4. mobility |
| 5. functional |
5. logistical |
5. factors |
| 6. responsive |
6.transitional |
6. concept |
| 7. synchronized |
7. modular |
7. capability |
| 8. compatible |
8. creative |
8. guidelines |
| 9. balanced |
9. operational |
9. contingencies |
To use the Jargon Generator, merely take any three-digit number and apply each digit to the corresponding sequential column.
For instance, the number 263 will give you “total transitional analysis,” an impressive and erudite phrase that can be applied in almost any situation.
And 953 will give you “balanced logistical analysis,” a statement that you can use to establish your expertise and authority on any subject.
Use of the Jargon generator when you really have nothing to say, the author points out, will result in absolutely no one knowing what you’re talking about.
But, he adds, what really matters is that (1) they’ll never admit it and (2) they will be able to accept you as a decisive thinker who possesses great ability to verbalize complex ideas. Sort of a 297, one might say.
Scottish Rite Bulletin
Have at it! Feel free to embellish to your hearts content. The author is confident in the abilities of the readers to produce 581.